This blogging malarky is ok if you have the time to do it. It’s ok for those ‘professional bloggers’ who’s job it is to regale us all with their tales of derring do, and who get paid to impart pearls of wisdom. It must be great to do blogging all day, when there are no other demands on your time. Like work, or life. Even better if you’re a “blogger in residence”, like the BBC employs. Blog, blog, blog – all day long. What a great gig to have.
But for us normal folk, who have to fit it in around our day jobs, it isn’t so easy to keep a regular dialogue with our readers. And also finding the time to read all those pearls of wisdom; well they always seem to drop down the (electronic) to-do list.
Now self service. Over the past few years intranets have evolved into far more than their original objective of delivering communications to an organisations workforce. Most companies I know have now delivered on-line self service and are heading toward, what Razorfish describe as ’The Consolidated Workplace Interface’ within the ‘The Intranet Maturity Framework’, which is basically psycho-babble for outlining what stages intranets go through on their ever evolving journey. I hate business speak, so for me it’s bleeding obvious. Intranets evolve based on user needs and organisational objectives. Period. Give it whatever fancy title you want, but the outcome is the same. Why don’t companies speak in plain langauage? After all we tell our intranet publishers to? Same rules apply. It’s not big and it’s not clever.
Anyway, maybe the world is taking this whole self service malarky too far. I was in Tesco’s yesterday and for those of who who don’t have someone to do their shopping for them, you will have noticed that they, plus many other supermarket chains, have introduced self service kiosks whereby you can self scan your goods and (allegedly) get through the queues far quicker. Or at least that’s the idea. In my experience they’re not quicker as they either don’t work as they should or they’re out of order. On the few occasions I’ve used them, they hold you up ‘cos you’ve bought alcohol and an assistant has to come over to verify that you’re over 21. What is this – the States? I thought 18 was the legal age to drink booze?
This entails a supermarket employee (and there’s only ever one doing this, as others stand around and scratch their heads wondering what to do next) coming over, checking your password, driving licence and birth certificate, plus ringing your parents to ensure you are a) who you say you are, b) old enough to drink and c) a ‘responsible’ drinker, by only buying Chablis instead of their crappy supermarket brand, and giving you permission’ to ‘purchase’ their goods. Gee thanks. Oh yes and they usually ring Gordon Brown to make sure it’s ok too. They should ring Paddy Pantsdown, he’d say yes in a flash!
Now I know the reasons why they need to do this, so no emails please Mr Leahy. Well we wouldn’t want gangs of teenagers drinking White Lightning on the corners of every street corner in the UK would we? Not like in my day. No that’s all been resolved now thanks to “responsible selling” of the corporate supermarket conglomerates. In my day we just used to send in the oldest kid in the gang and he’d buy it for us. Or the local drunk. Kids these days haven’t worked that one out yet. Errr, yeah right.
So avoiding the self serve terminals I placed my goods onto the very long runway which transported them half way across the supermarket to the stern looking cashier ensconsed in front of the screen that takes your money. Now she was under pressure to scan them all. Phew that looks like hard work I thought as I hastily packed everything into the one bag she presented me (they’ve removed self service for helping yourselves to bags – summat to do with the environment, but that’s easily solved – use paper instead of plastic – the States have been doing it for years – derr. How hard can it be?). So she scans and I pack. Notice there are no longer the runways at the customer end anymore, so now all these employees have to actually stretch to pass the goods on. Blimey, I think she nearly broke out into a sweat.
Then comes payment time. After providing my Clubcard (those points add up you know and will pay for most of the days out next year for my girlfriend and I if I plan it properly) the ‘cashier’ scans it and mumbles under her breath what the bill comes too. Luckily I catch what she said and then have to insert my payment card into the terminal (I have a Tesco credit card so I earn extra points on that too – double bubble, but don’t tell ‘em – we’re thinking of going on a world cruise on the proceeds soon – might see Leahy whilst we’re at it) and enter my PIN.
Now here’s the rub. In the olden days, the cashier would hand me my receipt. No longer. Oh no. I have to take it off the printer myself. A very small thing I accept, but an intrinsic step toward the deterioration of customer service, which let’s be honest Tesco has done quite well in the past. I’m all for me, me, me, but c’mon isn’t this taking things too far? And if you visit the cafe in these establishments you have to help yourself to the food laid out in front of you. Cuts down on serving staff you see. I know these things as many years I was responsible for implementing such new trends. Yes I’m to blame.
So what’s this got to do with intranets I hear you say? Well quite a lot actually. Are we not in danger of implementing on-line services that we have to negotiate and navigate with little understanding of what we’re actually doing which then results in more work for the employee? Most companies have self serve operations on-line that merely meet the requirements of the organisation at the expense of the employee. I know – I’ve been responsible for implementing some of them – blimey the charges are adding up M’Lord. We’ve all experienced crappy expenses systems, HR procedures and finance processes that are so mind numbingly complex we simply give up ‘cos it’s too hard. Usually to the overall benefit of the organisation.
All these systems do is throw the problem over the wall to the employees and relinquish the responsibilty of their rightful owners, who merely state they’ve been “user tested” – yes they have, usually amongst stakeholders in who’s interest it is to reduce costs. But the overall cost to the business goes unmeasured. We all know it increases.
So some self restraint is in order I reckon. If it isn’t fit for users to use then don’t do it. just ‘cos it meets the business objective does not absolve owners from their responsibility.
And as for Tesco’s? Well on-line shopping is obviously the only way to go. Either that or support your local shops.
And finally. If Tesco’s could also put my goods into my cupboards for me when you arrive then that would be perfect. Oh yes and remove the delivery charge - it wipes out the benefits I get from your loyalty points and I’m saving up for my world cruise, so I can have dinner with that lovely Mr Terry Leahy.
